Elinor

Elinor is now 10 weeks old and I couldn't love her more. I know people say that you will love your child unconditionally, they are a gift from God, and BLAH BLAH BLAH! But let me tell you it's the truth. I love all my kids, but Elinor showed me how to express it. The other saying I have heard is that God only gives special kids to special parents. That is a load of crap! My other two children are just as special as Elinor. She has made my heart more tender though. I am more sensitive to others and things people say. I am frustrated that she has Down Syndrome. Not because I love her any less, but because it wasn't what I asked for. I asked for a healthy baby that was going to be chubby and healthy and be able to breastfeed like a champ. I feel so horrible when I get frustrated because it takes me 5 minutes to get her to take her binki just for her to spit it out 30 seconds later. I am on edge constantly because she has reflux and will hold her breath or start gasping. UGH! sometimes it's to much to handle. But you know what...I wouldn't trade her a healthy baby that doesn't have down syndrome or do all things. You know why? Because she has become my world. She has taught me to love unconditionally. When she smiles at me it makes my heart melt. When she works and works and works just to get a coo out because I'm talking to her I break down and cry because I know how hard she worked to just get it out. Elinor now weighs 5lb 4oz! That's all I can handle for now. Bye